Learn the seven steps to bust stress and find balance in your life
Text by Framelia V. Anonas
YOU look at your to-do list and you start getting tired just by reading what’s in there. You go to the office but you feel you’re actually dragging your feet. You can’t have a good night’s sleep thinking of all your monthly dues. Deadlines start to make you feel jittery. Simply thinking of tomorrow raises your blood pressure a little bit.
Sounds familiar? Everyone has gone through stress at some points. According to Cecilia Batalla of Positive Psychology, stress is normal as it is the body’s response to the demands of life.
Three stages of stress
There are three stages of stress as found by Dr. Hans Selye in his work of on General Adaptation Syndrome. On the initial stage, you experience an alarming feeling. This is the same feeling you get when you’re thinking that in a few days you’ll make a presentation before some company bigwigs. Your body becomes alert as it releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisone. Nonessential body functions either slow down or close down. Your body prepares to fight against the reasons of stress, thus, fear, excitement of pressure registers clearly on your face.
The second stage is the feeling you get when you finally make your presentation before company bigwigs. You stare at each face and your body makes continuous efforts to cope with the stress you’re feeling, which is why this is called the resistance stage.
You feel irritated, over react to minor situations, and get weak physically and mentally. At this stage, more hormones are released, your hands tremble and you become cold. Your heart beats faster and you become drenched with sweat.
If you are just too tired thinking and you prefer to just lay down because you feel too weak, then you are on the third level of stress.
This is called the exhaustion stage. When you aren’t able to work this out, then you can no longer concentrate and work efficiently. Burnout follows.
Signs of stress
Your body’s reaction to stress is actually meant to protect you. However, when all your stress indicators are constantly on alert, then it takes a toll on your health. To check if you are being stressed-out, watch out for these signs:
· Physically, you experience dizziness, general body ache, sweat, headache, indigestion, and grinding teeth while you’re asleep,
· Mentally, you constantly worry, forget about things, and have difficulty in making decisions.
· Emotionally, you undergo anger, anxiety, and depression. You may even resort to crying.
· Behaviorally, you go on compulsive eating and become critical of others.
There are many things that cause stress in people. Our drinking habits could cause stress, as well as eating and sleping habits. The level of activity or inactivity—if we have so many things to do or we don’t have anything to do—can stress us out. Physical conditions and the environment could also cause stress.
On the psychological level, we also get stressed out thinking of and feeling for others. Our emotional and mental state could also cause stress. On the social domain, we get stressed by relationships, responsibilities (too many hats to wear—at home, in the office, outside, with friends, with clients, etc), sociopolitical events, life changes, and others.
How people respond to stress
A person responds to stress in four different ways, says Batalla. He could either run away from what’s causing the stress, wage a war (but usually it’s the innocent who bear the brunt), get frightened, or handle it positively.
· Flight. This means getting away from it all and diverting one’s attention. The main behavior here is denial, which is demonstrated by a person’s grumbling, overeating, and even overspending. A person may even get into vices such as drugs, alcohol, and smoking.
· Fight. Because of stress, a person may show angry outbursts, self destructive behavior, and offensive behavior.
· Fright. Because of fear and anxiety of real or imagined events, a person becomes socially isolated and withdrawn. He also finds it hard to make decisions and tends to procrastinate.
· Foresight. This response means that the person has accepted the events and consequences, thus seeks help when needed and communicates his feelings and thoughts with others. “It is really a matter of making a choice in perspective,” says Batalla.
Living a balanced life
Whether you’re a career woman or a stay-at-home mom, an executive of a company with huge responsibilities, or a single person in search of something to complete your life, you can choose to overcome stress and make the most out of your life.
You can shift from being frantic to focused and stressed to sane, and actually find time for everything despite a busy schedule. You can both enjoy your time with your loved ones and chase your dreams as far as you can go. It’s not that easy, yes, but it’s possible.
The secret is to live a balanced life. But what exactly is a balanced life?
According to Jerry Lopper of Suite 101.com, you have a balanced life when you can appropriately fulfill all of your important roles. It is not about how much time you spend fulfilling each role, but how involved you are in the role and the importance you give to that role.
A balanced life makes you feel fulfilled and significant. It is not using gadgets and equipment to be able to multi-task, but focusing on the happiness you get from what you are doing. A balanced life is usually marked by strong relationships and having clear life purpose and priorities, meaningful and interesting activities, and consistent values.
How to Balance Your Life and Reduce Stress
1. Slow down. Living on a fast lane will make you want to drive even faster. Try to get on the outer side, slow down, enjoy the view, and even smell the flowers. Cross country runners value pacing because it maximizes their effectiveness. This is the same with life. Linger a bit and make time to determine your true priorities. You don’t have to place all of them as number one on your to-do list!
2. Learn to say “no.” When you have properly set your priorities after slowing down, start learning to say “no” to requests that may set you off-track. Many people don’t know how to properly refuse, so they end up with tasks that interfere with their set timetables. In the end, they simply feel resentful. Don’t feel guilty when you refuse someone’s request. Simply say that you thank him for considering you with the task but that you can’t take it at the moment because you can’t give the attention it deserves. Try to recommend someone else equally qualified to do the task.
3. Prioritize your health and well-being. Sometimes we live too busy lives at the expense of our own personal health. Fast foods save you waiting time but in the end will lead to weight and health problems. Find ways how to do your work faster so you can free up some time to have a real healthy meal. During your work week, find time to do some aerobics, ballroom dancing, or simply go to the gym. You will find that these activities are actually welcome breaks that will energize you in between weekly tasks. Further, set regular check ups with your physician to ensure that your body is functioning well. And if it doesn’t, you can at once see what’s wrong and have it treated.
4. Stop being a workaholic. Many people spend more time at work, perhaps uncomfortable with the thought of leaving an unfinished task come dismissal time. But think: can the task wait till tomorrow? If it’s not really urgent, then maybe your boss would be happier looking at it tomorrow than at the close of the working day. Get out from you job’s addictive pattern and start rediscovering the joys of being at home. Playing with the kids, gardening, even sorting your cabinet, will prove to be therapeutic.
5. Have time with your family and loved ones. Kids grow up too fast, soon you’re left wondering where the little ones are. When they get into their teens and find lives of their own, you’ll miss the times when they used to kiss you all over. When you already have your own schedules, make sure to eat at least one meal a day together. Make your mealtime together work by allowing each one to share what has been keeping him busy lately. Kids will appreciate the interest you show in their activities. It will also encourage them to be open. For singles, learn to value time together with your family and significant other. Many relationships have been ruined because they just don’t have time for each other.
6. Simplify your life. Life tends to become more complicated by the day that it becomes pretty hard to balance the many demands of our various roles. Sometimes, we depend on equipment to help us multi-task to meet all those demands. But do you really need all those gadgets? When all you actually need is to text and call, you don’t have to stress out thinking of buying that buffed up celphone on display with all those wonderful features built in. You don’t really need 95 percent of them.
7. Pursue your passion. What do you love doing? To some, it may be singing in the videoke, dancing, cooking, making scrapbooks, or watching movies. To more adventurous ones, it may be mountain climbing, cross country running, or maybe even bungee jumping. Others love to collect souvenir items. Whatever it is that makes you feel great doing, include it in your regular activities. You’ll find that when you do the activity often, you feel refreshed and no longer out of balance.
